


Bonjour, Monsieur

by Katie (katieandsav)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, i didn't mean for this ending to happen, i don't know what genre this is, katie's shit, sorry Sam, sorry gabe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 06:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katieandsav/pseuds/Katie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam finally gets a date; Gabriel assumes it's his god-given right to do whatever he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonjour, Monsieur

Sam was actually pretty proud of himself.

He’d worked up the courage to ask the pretty DMV girl out (and she looked extra pretty as she stood before him in her red dress with her thick hair falling in dark waves around her shoulders) and he’d bought her some roses and he’d even given Dean enough significant looks that he was almost certain he and Cas were making out by now.

Yeah, Sam had done well today.

“You, ah, you look—you look great, April,” Sam said as he held out the roses and, even though his compliment was less than suave because  _holy crap she looked amazing_ , April’s blush was still visible in the dim light.

“Not looking too bad yourself, Agent,” replied April as she took the roses with a smile. Sam felt a little disappointed that she’d used that title because he actually kinda really liked her and didn’t want to be reminded of the fact that the only truth he’d told her since they’d met was, “My name’s Sam.” (And even that was tainted with a lie because April still thought his name was Sam Banner.)

“Thanks,” Sam said, taking her hand and leading her to the Impala—which Dean had reluctantly relinquished under the admittance that, if nothing else, the Impala would get Sam laid tonight—and opening the door.

The car drive to the restaurant, which was the classiest one Sam could find in the little town, was filled with easy small talk and laughter.

Throughout, he couldn’t stop glancing at April. The way she bit her lip as she thought, the smattering of freckles across her cheeks, her bright, honey-coloured eyes—every aspect of her was gorgeous. Sam couldn’t believe his luck.

Maybe he’d actually have a nice evening for the first time in years.

And it seemed like that was fact as they were seated at a nice little booth in the corner of the room where the lights were just dim enough, and it seemed like that was fact throughout their starters and mains.

Then, a waiter swaggered up to the table and asked Sam in an awful French accent, “Bonjour, monsieur. Dessert?”

Sam felt the colour drain from his face when he glanced up and saw the unmistakable shit-eating grin beneath the waiter’s fake, bushy moustache. “Gabriel?” he hissed.

“Hey, kid!” Gabriel sang, pulling off his moustache and tossing it over his shoulder. “Guessing my disguise didn’t fool ya? I’ll hafta work on that. Who’s this, then?” he asked as he looked at the startled April. Suddenly, his smirk was gone. “Your cousin? Half sister? Relative of distant familial relation but whose bloodline is still close enough to yours that any canoodling would be considered incest?”

“Uh.” Sam cleared his throat. “She’s my, ah, date. April.”

“Oh,” Gabriel said coolly. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you… April.” He turned his gaze on Sam and said in a whisper that was far too loud to be a real whisper, “Really, Samsquatch? You do know  _April_  is a slutty name, right?”

April stiffened in her seat. “I’m sorry, do you two know each other?”

“He’s a…” Sam started hesitantly. “He’s a  _friend_.”

“Friend, lover—potato, potahto.” Gabriel shrugged and slung an arm around Sam’s shoulder in what seemed to be a possessive gesture. “The terms are synonymous, really.”

Sam went rigid.

April blinked and got up. “Right, then. I’d better go. It was nice having dinner with you, Sam,” she said, setting a twenty dollar bill on the table and adding, “For the cheque.”

“Wait—April, wait. He’s just a friend,” Sam said, emphasizing the word “friend” and shoving Gabriel’s arm off his shoulder.

“Goodnight, Sam,” April replied, walking out the restaurant.

Sam watched her go in utter shock for a moment.

“Sheesh, touchy,” Gabriel commented.

Sam clenched his jaw and slowly looked up at the archangel. “You—are—an— _ass,_ Gabriel,” he growled, getting to his feet and pushing past Gabriel.

“Oh, come on!” protested Gabriel as he practically goddamn  _frolicked_  after Sam like some flamboyant flamingo. Or something.

The hunter ignored him, striding out the door and into the parking lot. The air had cooled; now, the wind bit at his neck like an inexperienced lover.

“Samster.” Gabriel appeared in front of him, holding his hands up. “What’s got a bee up your ass, hmm? Tell Gabey-wabey all about it,” he purred, reaching out to trail a finger down Sam’s chest. Sam swatted him away.

“No—you know what, Gabriel? Screw you. I really liked that girl.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Sam, April is a—”

“A slutty name. I know. I’m pretty sure the population of China knows, considering how loudly you stated that ‘fact’.” Sam shook his head and stepped around Gabriel. “Just… leave me alone, will you?”

“Saaaam,” Gabriel called after him as Sam strode ahead, the sound of his shoes hitting the tarmac echoing throughout the empty lot. “C’mon, you can’t be serious about this, right? That girl wasn’t nearly good enough for you!”

Sam stopped walking. “Do you ever know when to  _shut the hell up_?”

“I thought you’d have concluded by now that—no, I do not know when to shut the hell up.”

“This isn’t funny, Gabriel!” Sam snapped, and he was surprised by how loud his voice was as he whirled around to face the archangel. “You do know not everything’s a joke, right? That people have  _lives_  and are not just your little… dolls to play with?” He walked toward Gabriel. “You need to get your head out your ass,  _Gabey-wabey_ , ’cause right now, I’ve had it up to  _here_  with your shit.”

Gabriel blinked up at him, golden eyes somewhat uncomprehending. “Sam, she wasn’t good enough for you. You deserve someone who can give you anything you want, whether it’s an ice cream sundae or all the stars in the sky.”

“Oh?” Sam laughed dryly, crossing his arms. “ _Oh_? Then who d’you suggest, huh?  _You_?”

The archangel didn’t respond for a few moments, but something flashed in his eyes. “I… I just thought that—that after that night, that, you know, you…”

For once, Gabriel was speechless.

Sam inhaled deeply, his exhalation coming out as another breath of disbelieving laughter. “That’s what this is all about? You’re still clinging to that? Gabriel, first of all, that was _months_  ago—my life was utter  _shit_  back then. And, in case you hadn’t noticed,  _I didn’t have a soul_. All that crap I did—it’s stuff I’d never do now. Okay? I’ve got my shit together now, Gabe. And I finally got a really nice girl to go out with me and, you know what? We were hitting it off. Until you pranced in, expecting the world to fall to your feet because, holy crap, it’s Gabriel! Loki! The Trickster!” Sam shut his eyes briefly, biting his lip. “Not everything’s about you, Gabriel. It’s about time you realised that.”

When he opened his eyes again, he was met with the most bewildered expression he’d ever seen. Gabriel looked almost… hurt?

“Well, uh… Well, jeez, Samsquatch. Never knew you felt that way. Right. Then I’ll, er, just get going.” Gabriel nodded slightly, backing away. “Adios, moose,” he said, and with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

Sam pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes and swallowed dryly.

Goddammit. 


End file.
